There have been moments recently when, for the first time in my life, I’ve felt discouraged to the point of having a hard time telling people things are going to get better. Our community took a major hit when Donald Trump was inaugurated. His administration has made it clear they do not acknowledge our right to exist. Nobody tells you how to go through something like this. But we are only growing in numbers, and we will always exist, no matter what the law states.
At the end of last year, an extension of the ban on puberty blockers for people who are under the age of 18 and questioning their gender identity was made permanent by the UK government – there will be no review until 2027. While debates raged, my first thought was, ‘This is going to kill people.’ I don’t think people understand the gravity of that. I’ve been there, I know what it feels like – to have something withheld from you that could save your life. Since then, in America, President Trump has already signed four executive orders targeting transgender people. I am often asked why I pay so much attention to politics in other countries, and the answer is because it’s all linked. I see some of Trump’s policies being openly celebrated here. Moments like these open the door to wider attacks on the trans community; they allow a space where people feel emboldened to say things they wouldn’t usually.
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It’s against this backdrop that I live. This year, I am doing the only thing I can think about, which is focusing on strengthening our community. It’s the only way we will make it. A lot of the conversations I have with my friends revolve around what the next four years will mean to us, and how we are going to navigate it, as the rise of fascism globally has a direct impact on our community by infringing on our freedom and bodily autonomy. In the last year, I have felt forced to hide, and close myself off from the world in fear of my own physical safety. I have to remind myself, and be reminded by those who love me, that there are still good people around.
To find moments of joy, I try to focus on learning new things, like fencing and dance, to grow and feel more grounded so I can harness my power and use it to its fullest extent. My joy comes from being myself, unapologetically, and from those around me who show up just as they are, every day.
I have spent a lot of time in the past couple of months talking to trans people. Most feel like they’re no longer safe here in the UK and it’s time to start thinking about an exit plan. People around me are making plans to leave the country. It’s very confusing to someone like me – who moved here from Belgium for a better, more accepting environment – to now feel like I’m being chased out. We know hate crimes against transgender people are on the rise. In the year ending March 2023, 4,732 hate crimes against transgender people were recorded in the UK – a rise of 11% on the previous year. A Home Office report revealed that discussion of transgender issues by politicans and the media may have led to this increase. I’m watching the actions of people change around me, with many saying transphobic things. I know I’m not the only one having these experiences. I encounter verbal abuse almost daily, and I am constantly scared for the safety of my community, especially for my Black sisters who are the most vulnerable – they face the most danger.
My mind returns a lot to a trip I went on a couple of years ago with a group of trans children and their parents. I will never forget the profound impact of hearing the words of an eight-year-old who looked at me and said, ‘I don’t want to be here anymore.’ Hearing those words come out of a child’s mouth did something to me that I can’t explain. I want to work with these kids and, even if I can’t tell them it’s all going to be OK, I want to share with them what has helped me and give them tools to navigate this difficult time. But it’s also about showing them there is joy, making them laugh and letting them know there are bigger sisters here who will always be there for them.
We have been preparing for the worst for our entire lives, but now the rest of the world has to wake up. To you, it’s just another news story. To us, our entire world is crumbling around us. The silence of the majority who are standing by as the trans community comes under attack is what’s breaking us. At the same time, it forces us to come together. That’s the light we have to hold on to: the love and understanding we have for each other. I could meet a sister anywhere, at any time, and feel instantly connected to them. We don’t have to communicate or be friends, but we are family, and nothing will ever get in the way of that again.
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