In case you haven't heard (and contrary to what might be unfolding on the global political stage): kindness is sexy. Case in point? Selena Gomez's music producer beau, Benny Blanco, who, despite being mocked for his looks by detractors, yet praised by his partner for his unwavering love and support, has been featured in People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive issue.
A fickle mistress, the internet appears divided by Blanco's inclusion in the list (the Sexiest Man Alive cover star will be announced on November 12). One user on X applauded the decision, writing, 'YES! He's redefining "sexy" with that humour and style!' Another noted, 'He radiates kindness and warmth. It’s a joy to see him and Selena supporting one another. They both truly deserve love, happiness, and everything wonderful life has to offer!' Other, more misguided, users also chimed in on the chorus. 'Benny blanco and sexiest man alive should never be in the same sentence,' one chimed in, while another said, 'Selena paid for this,' which preceded three crying laughing emojis.
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But the only joke here are the people who still measure a person's sex appeal based on their appearance. You know what's truly, deeply and unapologetically sexy? Loving your partner 'unconditionally', as Gomez praised Blanco for doing in the comments of his Instagram post celebrating his honour. The Only Murders In The Building star then shared a William C. Hannan quote to her Instagram story, which read: 'I still haven't figured out how to sit across from you, and not be madly in love with everything you do.'
Gomez isn't alone in eschewing conventional — which is to say nothing of the fact that Blanco is very much a handsome man, albeit an unconventional one in the eyes of Hollywood — beauty standards for how somebody makes you feel. On TikTok, users have dedicated countless videos to their own journeys of falling for genuinely nice, kind men — who they love regardless of how they look. 'I love telling people that I love nice guys because they just get so confused,' TikTok user Garnet says in one video on the subject that's been liked just shy of 20,000 times. 'They're like "what's your type?" and I say "nice guys" and they're like "wait, what?" It doesn't make sense to them. But what doesn't make sense to me is why more women don't go for the nice guys because girls complain all the time on TikTok and to their friends about having bad dating experiences and being treated badly, but they're not looking for somebody to be a nice person as a prerequisite.' No wonder, then, that the #NicGuy has been used in almost 80,000 posts on the video-sharing app.
In the accompanying People Magazine article, Blanco insisted that there should be 'no games' in a relationship. 'I [still] go all out for every date. It doesn't mean spending your entire bank account. It means being attentive and listening,' he explained of his year-long relationship, before adding that he tries to create 'moments in time because everyone's f**king busy.' Explain exactly to me what is un-sexy about that kind of treatment? My best friend used to tell me that nice boys don't finish last, and she's right. In actual fact, the only ones who finish last are those who refuse to get the memo that somebody's adherence to conventional beauty standards has very little to do with their level of sexiness.
Culture got the nice boy memo this year, too. Nobody Wants This, Bridgerton and One Day all made the case for the nice guy coming out on top — albeit the latter's male protagonist being a reformed bad boy. These shows were a reminder that the emphasis of sex appeal ought to lie in somebody's behaviour, rather than their looks. The takeaway from these shows was the male's treatment of the female; how kind, thoughtful and considerate they were to their partners. And it is for that pertinent reason that one of the sexiest men alive is Benny Blanco, and, frankly, any other person who treats their partner with seemingly nothing but love, adoration and respect. Anybody who disagrees is categorically un-sexy.
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Naomi May is a seasoned culture journalist and editor with over ten years’ worth of experience in shaping stories and building digital communities. After graduating with a First Class Honours from City University's prestigious Journalism course, Naomi joined the Evening Standard, where she worked across both the newspaper and website. She is now the Digital Editor at ELLE Magazine and has written features for the likes of The Guardian, Vogue, Vice and Refinery29, among many others. Naomi is also the host of the ELLE Collective book club.
