In divisive times, surely we need our mates more than ever. At the moment, however, it seems that the gulf between the left and the right, the haves and the have-nots, the renters and the owners, is growing wider and wider (amplified by our terminally online culture).
In some ways, it’s just a part of growing up. By your thirties and beyond, some of you will have kids, some will still be kids; some are on to second marriages, while others don’t get to second dates. Some of us are booking Wicked tickets and others are trying to torrent Gladiator II in our bedrooms. That is to say, life evolves; let’s not pretend we’re bouncing around in giant girl gangs, swapping clothes and sharing secrets (although, if you are, great). But these relationships are precious; they only work when both sides invest in them. So, if you want to keep your ride or dies for 2025, here are the new rules of modern friendship.
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Friendship is precious, so don’t just nod along – try to understand their views.
The Art Of The Long-Distance Friendship
The key is knowing your friend’s communicative 'love language'.
Modern Manners: Friendship Love Languages
Tough love, or tea and sympathy?
By Panashe Nyadundu
Meme Queens
Meaningful check-in texts? Forget it! You’ll hear from them daily, however, clogging up your inbox with meme after wickedly funny meme.
Sharing Is Caring
They’ll always sort you out with a little something from their wardrobe when you need it – points for sustainability.
Voicenote Virtuoso
They don’t care that yours go way beyond the two-minute mark, they’re here for every intricate detail of your mini podcast episode. And, yes, they reply to every point you make.
Tough Love
Be it a bad boyfriend, job or hairstyle, sometimes we need a friend to tell us straight that it just isn’t for us.
The Detective
Paging MI5: hire this person now. New love interest? They don’t need a las tname, they’re already nine years deep on their IG. Even LinkedIn isn’t safe.
Let's Party
Thought you could skip birthday plans or let that promotion slip under the radar? This friend just won’t have it. They want to celebrate all of life’s joys.
Giving Advice
Whether they’ve walked this road before or are a natural empath, expect wise words in times of need. See also...
Crisis Management
They’re not only there for the LOLs (although hopefully you’ll laugh about it eventually). This is the number you need on speed dial when shit gets real.
The Composer
From work emails to friend disputes and cryptic texts from the person you’re seeing, this pal doubles as a wordsmith for navigating tricky conversations.
Hype It Up!
Your very own PR, bigging you up to anyone who’ll listen. Guaranteed to post the fire emoji on all your selfies.
Flexibility
Changes in your family life or career can be disruptive – but this friend gets it and is understanding (don’t take it for granted, though).
To Read: Six Novels On Friendship
Cat's Eye By Margaret Atwood
The Secret History By Donna Tartt
The New Types Of Friends
Not all mates fit the same mould. Here are the many different kinds...
The IRL Mutual
Whether you bump into one another bi-yearly or they’re a friend of a friend’s friend, it’s always good vibes whenever you do speak to one another for your allotted five minutes.
The URL Mutual
You know this person through social media and, while you’ve never met them in person, they just get you – and you them. Be it their music taste, fashion style or niche sense of humour, you have lots in common. Like!
The Flake
Yes, you can count on them to make plans – but you can also absolutely count on them to cancel last minute because [insert reason]. But, of course, you’ll try again next week.
The GOOF
That’s the ‘Going Out Out Friend’. Identify them by the WhatsApp thread composed of ‘WUU2 tonight?’ texts and ETAs to the bar. Come to think of it, you’ve never seen them in daylight.
The Smoking-Area Friend
You met her six years ago in that one club and promised to grab brunch together the following weekend, and eventually go travelling together. While that didn’t happen, you still think about her from time to time and wish her well.
The Shared Historian
You have sweet FA in common now, but this friendship predates your first bra/kiss/car, so you’ll happily laugh about the same old stories on loop. Why chat about new stuff when you could wax nostalgic for two hours straight – again?
The Age-Gap Friend
This relationship transcends the major disconnect in decade-defining cultural phenomena. Plus, there’s so much to learn from one another.
The Ex
Yes, really. Warning: it only works if you’re totally on the same page.
The Frenemy
Between the banter, sarcasm and healthy dose of one-upmanship(you’re both guilty), there’s a genuine connection in this strangely comforting dynamic. It’s what keeps the friendship alive.
The Friend With Benefits
Ahem. See: Friends with Benefits ,starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake (2011), if you’re pretending to be naive.
The 'Really Good Friend'
Truthfully, you’re acquaintances at best but, for some reason, you tell people that they’re your ‘spirit animal’. Do you even know their last name?
The Comfort Friend
The personification of taking your bra off after a long day. Nothing is out of bounds or too TMI with this friend. This is a judgment-free zone.
The Work Wife/Husband
A nine to five can feel like
a weekend lie-in when your favourite colleague is in the office.From coffee runs to office gossip, we’d be lost without them, as you are when you see that they’re OOO.
The Convenience Friend
Thrown together by shared circumstances, you enjoy on eanother’s company – that is,until your kids go to different schools/you change gyms/your partner moves job
The Walking Disclaimer
Seemingly stuck in a 90s sitcom and uninitiated to the social nuances of 2024, they’re likely to cause offence, no matter how well-intentioned they may be. A ‘don’t mind them’ on introduction should help to take care of damage control.
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