My name is Dina Asher-Smith and I used to be a perfectionist. I can say that now, after 10 years of racing at an elite level, winning Olympic medals and World Championships and being known as one of the fastest woman in the world. It’s also something I can admit because I have learned to manage my perfectionism and see it not as a badge of honour or something that’s aspirational, but rather a trait that is exhausting and unforgiving. It took years for me to get there.
My perfectionism was mainly tied to my profession as a sprinter, and it used to come out in how I prepared for big races. I was very fixed-minded; it had to be flawless. Unless I’d completed personal bests in the the gym or broken new ground in track training, unless I’d worked six days out of seven, and competed in as many races as possible in the run up to a big competition, then I didn’t feel ‘ready’.
It didn’t mean that I couldn’t perform well, but more that I lacked that comforting feeling of knowing I was in the best shape I’d ever been in. And no one in elite sport wants that nagging sense that they could have done more when the big moments arrive.
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In other areas of my life, the story was different. My friends say I’m more of a perfectionist about the things I care about – which, for me, has always been racing and being great at my job. But when it comes to everything else, I'm balanced in my outlook. In my training, however, it was all or nothing - until, in 2017, something happened which forced me to revaluate my relationship with perfectionism, and changed my whole approach.
That year, the World Championships were coming to London, my hometown. It was a once in a lifetime occurrence and something I’d been building up to for years and years. My aim had been to come out with an individual medal in the 200 metres. But the February before the Championships, I was in a training session doing jumps on a bench. As I took off for one of them, I got my foot caught beneath the bench and smacked it so hard I knew instantly I’d done something serious. It was broken.
I went from thinking my aim of a medal was within reach to, 'How realistic is it to be in the top three in the world and not be able to walk?' I was told it would take over a year to get back to racing, which I couldn’t accept. I decided I was going to at least try and still make it to the World Championships that summer. This meant I had just five months to have and recover from surgery, rehabilitate and get back to an elite level. It was not a perfect, or even remotely desirable, build-up.
As someone who felt secure in precise and logical markers of the form I was in – gym sessions completed, training blocks ticked off – 2017 threw a heap of unknowns at me. My inner perfectionist was forced out of her comfort zone. I had to prepare imperfectly, and rely on belief, faith and trust that it would all come together at the right time for what was going to be the biggest competition on British soil I had ever raced in. I was fortunate to have a caring, intelligent and talented team who bent over backwards to make sure that when the time was right I was going to be in the best place possible.
I ended up finishing fourth in the world, the highest position I’d ever achieved at that point, only missing the podium by just a few hundredths of a second. I ran faster than I had done at the Olympics the previous year and came home with a silver medal as part of the British 4 x 100m relay team.
After being absolutely gutted that I’d just missed out on my first global individual medal, I was proud of what I was able to achieve when the odds were so stacked against me. It was in the aftermath of the Championships that I reconsidered my perfectionist mindset. For someone who felt like you had to complete a training checklist to perform excellently, abstract emotions like ‘trust’, ‘faith’ and ‘belief’ always came second. But that summer – in fact that entire year – I learned that things don’t have to be perfect; you don’t have to be perfect to be successful.
I’m not alone in letting go of perfectionism. We see the pressure everywhere: on social media, at school, at work and even at home as parents. The focus is, more than ever, on the individual and striving to feel good enough in a society that’s always demanding more. But we’re also seeing many women in the public eye letting go of the pursuit of perfection and exceptionalism.
Serena Williams said after a 2020 US Open match: ‘I’m a perfectionist – it has been the story of my life.’ Explaining how she remembers being self-critical from a young age and sees her daughter doing the same thing, she shared how she has to tell herself: ‘“Okay, Serena, stop.” Only Jesus was perfect, so just stop.’ Zendaya has also been vocal in calling out her own perfectionism, saying, ‘I want to be perfect…make all the right decisions, and when I don’t it stresses me out.’
But the Emmy-winning actor has also admitted that letting go of her fear around failure has helped: ‘I can’t allow myself to be scared of not always doing the right thing,’ she has said. ‘I will make mistakes in my career, but I can try my best to make the decisions that I can and learn from my mistakes.’
Constantly reaching for perfection is unsustainable and doesn’t bring joy. And I think, as people realise this, there’s a wider re-evaluation of what success looks like. I have become far more accepting of the bumps in the road: if there are failures or diversions along the way, I try not to let that spiral into self-doubt or undue self-criticism because sometimes, you only need to be great for a few moments in time, rather than all the time.
Now that I’m not aiming for perfection, I have much more confidence in my own ability and in the way I prepare for races. Don’t get me wrong, I still strive to do my best and have high standards for myself, but it doesn’t have to be perfect: I can make mistakes, have setbacks, or miss a couple of training sessions if I need to, and still feel confident. Most of all, I can relax a bit, knowing that there’s no right way to achieve something. In an age of perfectionism it’s worth remembering that if you’re doing your best, that’s more than enough.
Dina Asher-Smith is an ELLE Contributing Editor.
This article originally featured in the November issue of ELLE.
