6 Relationship Firsts When Dating as an Adult
The "talk", the moving boxes, etc.
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Dating as an adult is totally different than what you did in high school or college. For starters, it can become more difficult to meet someone organically: There are less house parties and everyone-you-know-is-there bars and way more apps. Once you do click with someone, the relationship itself is inherently different. Drama becomes less appealing, and you’re more comfortable asking for exactly what you need. Plus, you've likely experienced a few ill-fitting partners who taught you what's definitely not right for you.
Along with newfound emotional maturity, adult-only relationships also come with some particular firsts. Scary, exciting, fun, and serious all at once, here are the six milestones you'll typically experience when dating in your late 20s and beyond, as well as great ways to handle them.
Having a different kind of talk
Sure, DTR-ing will still be a thing, but after you’ve determined what exactly you "are," it’s time to have a different talk: birth control. Whether it’s condoms, daily pills, or an IUD, it’s important that you’re both on the same page when it comes to avoiding unplanned pregnancies.
While the birth control convo might have happened with your parents as a teen, now's the time to discuss frankly with your sexual partner.
Going on vacation as a couple
In college, going to Acapulco on spring break with your boyfriend and 50 other friends was likely as close to a romantic vacation as you got, but it’s time to step it up.
Traveling is a wonderful way to learn more about your partner, whether it’s how they handle stress, act after a long, trying day of go-go-go activity, or prioritize certain experiences. It’s also a great exercise in discussing budget and figuring out if you think similarly when it comes to splurging versus saving.
Celebrating the holidays with family
Meeting the parents is one thing; meeting the parents for a beloved holiday is another. There’s more extended family around, and the pressure to impress is that much higher.
It's also a lesson in independence if you're stepping away from your own family for the first time (and an important look into the future of building a new nuclear unit). Figuring out a time tradeoff with your SO is all about compromise and honest communication.
Moving in together
Sharing a home is one of the first steps in long-term commitment, and it can come with some messy conversations. From splitting up household finances to making decor choices that speak to both of you, it can be uncomfortable.
Try to move past any awkwardness and just put it all out there, including how much you make and how you’d like to save.
Sharing a pet
Having an animal in your life is wonderful, but it's also work—meaning the decision to bring a pet into the family is wildly easier if you have someone to help. Share the responsibilities (and love), while also learning some parenting lessons that will come in handy if you decide to have children.
Talking about the capital-f Future
It's not uncommon to have dreamed of wedding dresses and babies when you were young, but you hit a stage when this stuff becomes a reality. That’s big. And while exciting, it also comes with some major responsibilities that need discussing.
Where do you stand on marriage? Do you both want kids? Do you know where you want to end up living? What will you value most in the future? It’s important to be honest with yourself now, so that massive issues don't pop up down the road.
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