Hot Shirtless Olympic Dude of the Day: Michael Phelps
Always winning when there are abs.
The Olympics are here! That means mind-bogglingly talented athletes from around the world are already competing in their fields of expertise to earn medals and global recognition for their unparalleled skills. Also, shirtlessness! Lots of it, in fact. And we'd be remiss if we didn't celebrate that over the next two weeks. So, here is your first half naked dude of the day to ogle toast: Michael Phelps, who took home his 19th (!) gold medal today. Congrats, Michael Phelps' abs! You earned it.
Everyone, please put on spectacles, take a long, soothing breath, do whatever you need to do to prepare yourselves to...
LOOK AT THESE ABS.
There are seventy trillion of them?
Like... I think his abs have abs?
His abs, definitely have abs... And they have FRIENDS. (Oh, hey, hi, hello, Caeleb Dressel Abs.)
Even, his hip bone area thingy has abs...
Where normal people have, I don't know, skin? Muffin top? Standard issue hips, Michael Phelps has souped up miracle hips.
It's like Michael Phelps's hips went on MTV's "Pimp My Ride."
Michael Phelps, you and your abs are a national treasure. Please, be shirtless, always.
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